While cruising around the web, hunting for additions to boost my boogeyman bash this year, I hit pay-dirt, as a stumbled across a company who specializes in the removal and rehoming of unsettling and/or haunted dolls. Unsettling Toys is tackling the task of ensuring your safety by taking your haunted doll off your hands and placing it with folks who are ready to welcome these terrifying toys, be they plushie, porcelain, plastic or homemade (Eek!).
It’s a familiar feeling, as you peruse their website and Instagram, akin to searching for a pet in need of a home. With pictures and names and backstories, you ALMOST feel sorry for these creepy collectibles. However, if this hair-raising hobby of collecting devil dolls is your sick schtick, you might have found your new horrifying homepage.
We have these adorable abnormalities, captioned with, “The unboxing video for these Pitiful Pearl dolls is up on our YouTube! The daughter of their former owner had a nightmare in which she called one of the dolls “Frog Girl” before feeling something trying to burrow into her neck!!! What do you think? Haunted?!
The ever-changing gallery currently hosts a plaything plethora guaranteed to cut that blind date short, shall you decide to display your wicked rescue, and you wouldn’t have to worry about handing any candy out should you prop this bloodcurdling buddy on the porch come October 31. This one was found in a men’s restroom in Tennessee! Someone get on that script!
While their website has an FAQ section, my one zillion questions weren’t all answered. But, they do answer some crucial ones like, “Are the dolls haunted?” Answer: “Sometimes! We do not guarantee or certify any haunting or attachments. We take the stories that come with the dolls, and pass them along to their new owners.” But if you need to make absolutely sure your new friend IS possessed, they answer yes, you may, do a psychic reading to ease your mind that you are going to be mailed a poltergeist, saying, “Yes! If a client is in the Portland area, they are welcome to do a live reading. Otherwise, clients are welcome to set up a Zoom or Skype call. We do not provide a psychic, clients usually do the reading themselves or include a psychic of their choosing in the meeting.” Problem solved.
So while sitting on my un-haunted high horse, chatting with a friend about my freaky find, they reminded me that I collect semi-Satanic St. Nick’s to add to my Santa shrine every year. Right. Forgot about that. Moving on! As with any Halloween fiend, we all relish utilizing the entire month as an excuse to watch our favorite horror flicks every night, even if flippin’ football is on. We have to squeeze in our perennials, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Carrie, Poltergeist.Then we can move onto some contemporary requirements like Let the Right One In, Teeth, and the mentally-scarring Border. I’ll admit, I might have to cozy up to a newly acquired cursed curio and watch through my slightly splayed fingers all of the demonic doll classics. I’m gonna start with Puppet Master. What’s your devil doll movie go-to?